Piper is sitting at her laptop in the garden room at No.22. She adjusts the camera.
Caption: PIPE UP
PIPER: Hey guys! Before I start the video, I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who's been touching base with me all week...I'm fine...and my friend...she's still working through everything, but she's *going* to be fine. So as you guys probably know, recently I had to make a short film for school, and it was based on a true story that me and my buddy boy Ben made. We worked really hard on it, the script, everything. Obviously we were really eager to find out how we went...it wasn't perfect, I know that...but it...you know, let me just read you some of the comments that were made by the marker.
Cut to Piper sitting by the window.
PIPER:(reading from her feedback sheet) 'The non-linear narrative' ..."narrative" spelt incorrectly...'was confusing and distracting'. Yeah, well, so was your spelling. 'The team took too many creative risks'.
A musical interlude ensues with Piper throwing her hair around.
PIPER: Eurghhhhhh.
Cut to a close up of Piper looking into the camera.
PIPER: Well, I'm sorry, it's what everyone's doing at the moment. Have you not seen 'Gone Girl'? Or any of the classics? Have you not seen 'Inception'? Have you not seen 'Inception'? (upside down) Have you not seen 'Inception'? Or any film by Gus Van Sant? Sant? Saint? Sant? Gus? Even TV shows are doing it now.
Cut to Piper talking to a lamp.
PIPER: Is that you, Will Byers?
She hugs the lamp and looks around nervously.
PIPER:(to the camera) Taking creative risks is what puts your stamp on the project. It makes it stand out. No, no, that's OK, never mind, I'll just...I'll play it safe next time! If you want mainstream, oh, I'll give you mainstream! Hey, let's go out and catch some ghosts!
Cut to a CGI shot of four Pipers hunting ghosts.
PIPER: Wait. We're all just a bunch of women, the audience will *hate* that idea! On the upside, women cost less to employ, so, there's that...(!) OK, so, it's Q and A time! (sings) Q and A time! It's time for me to answer all your Q and... (stops singing) I promise I'll never do that again, it's not going to be a thing, so don't unsubscribe...(sings) Q and A time!
She looks at her phone.
PIPER: This first one is from BlondBoy16...'Trump or Hillary?' (looks witheringly at the camera, then, as Trump) You're fired!
She looks back at her phone.
PIPER: 'Hey, Pipes, what happened to the pink streaks you used to rock?' The pink streaks was just a Canadian thing...keeping it *real* here, now, so, sorry...!
She looks back at her phone.
PIPER: Dexter Tithe...'If you were on Death Row, what would be your last meal?' Waffles, bacon and maple syrup!
She puts a hand on her heart, and the Canadian National Anthem plays.
PIPER: And for my last act, Piper's top five! I'm going to be ranking all my favourite Jennifer Lawrence movies.
She holds up five fingers.
PIPER: Number 5...we have X- Men: Days of Future Past...I mean, not only is she lethal and kicking ass, but she's also blue.
Piper herself turns blue through the magic of CGI!
PIPER: Number four...Hunger Games...'Peeta!!' You totally buy Katniss as a tortured heroine...and you totally want her to kick ass and win! 'I volunteer as tribute!'
She holds up three fingers.
PIPER: Number three...Silver Linings Playbook. The girl won an Oscar for it...enough said.
She holds up two fingers.
PIPER: Number two! We have American Hustle. Who doesn't want to see J-Law as an unstable diva?
She holds up one finger.
PIPER:(sings) Ah!! (normally) Number one. Winter's Bone. I mean, this is the film that made everyone stand up and actually *notice* Jennifer Lawrence, and for that, it's now my number, it's my blah blah, it's my number one!
She giggles.
PIPER: That's me for another week. Let me know, down below in the comments, if you agree with my top five. If you don't...I don't care! I think I've got 31,000 subscribers now...like, crazy! To think I had, like, twelve only a while ago...thanks to the original twelve! John! Um, sorry, I keep burbling! Auf wiedersehen!
She waves and sinks down in her chair.
